Monday, July 1, 2013

Star Trek Film Rankings Part 1

Ranking all twelve Star Trek films from worst to best.

12. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
            God is an evil space alien who looks like Karl Marx and needs a spaceship to leave his prison in the middle of the Galaxy. That is the concluding act of this film. Along the way, Spock’s half brother brainwashes people by helping them confront and let go of their pain. Kirk, naturally refuses, arguing that he needs his pain. By the end of the film, Spock, McCoy, and Kirk agree that maybe there is no sentient creature known as God, but rather the spark of the divine lies in the hearts of mankind or alienkind or whatever. It is an overtly touchy-feely ending to a dreadful film. The less said about Uhura doing a seductive fan dance the better. 

11. Star Trek Insurrection
            The conflict of the film focused around Starfleet setting aside its principles to ensure its long term survival. The conceit, however, failed to develop into an interesting exploration of that idea. Instead Picard and the Enterprise, despite having the flagship of the Federation at their disposal, seem outmatched at every turn while helping the inhabitants of a small planet fight off evil aliens trying to steal their secret to everlasting life. Perhaps best exhibiting the problem of the film, the fate of Picard and his crew lies in Picard’s ability to guilt-trip an alien into helping him. Plot action through a stern lecture from Jean-Luc Picard hardly seems a successful way to advance a film. Also in the film, Picard falls in love, Data befriends a little boy, Worf gets pimples, and everyone on the Enterprise gets their groove back. 

10. Star Trek Nemesis
            The last film featuring the Next Generation cast returned unsuccessfully to the same themes of previous films: questioning the humanity of Jean-Luc Picard and further exploring Data's quest to become more human. The film shed a light on these issues by introducing clones; a Picard clone who rose to lead the Romulan Empire and Data must wrestle with a less technologically advanced version of himself. Picard's clone has murdered his way to the top, leading Picard, recognizing that he and the clone are the same person (but not really), to doubt his own goodness and humanity. This character turn, however, does not fit with a lifetime of actions up to that point. Picard always favored giving subordinates, friends, and enemies the opportunity to change and define themselves through their actions. Yet he refuses to apply those same rules to himself. While killing off Data tugged at the heartstrings of Trek fans, the presence of an identical Data whom Data had provided with all of his memories ensured that Data would live on in some form. 

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